On A Personal Note -- Christmas 2010

It has been an astounding year. The two biggest events were certainly February 7th when my Mother celebrated her 100th birthday and then, a few days after proudly telling the Vitas hospice workers that she was “one hundred and a half,” she passed on June 28th.

Funny, it took her one hundred years before she would divulge her age. Usually when someone asked her age, she would ask: “Can you keep a secret?” Her visitor would always agree. Then she would say with a smile, “So can I!”

Both my folks lived long lives. Each was alert and active until just days before their passing. When I came back home in what seems like a lifetime ago, I was “just going to be here for a while;” until "FB" (my Dad) recovered from an automobile accident. I never guessed that in my coming home I would see them both “home.”

I think life is that way, you never know what is around the corner.

I am grateful for both of them as I am for you and all our friends who made my mother’s last years a blessing. Allow me to share two stories – forgive me if you have heard them.

I was overwhelmed with the idea of a 100th birthday party. Everyone had a different idea. Then one day at our church office, the priest said: “Well, if she can’t come to church, then we will just take the church to her!” Everything fell into place with that simple statement.

And so on Sunday, February 7th, nearly 100 people with as many balloons showed up on the front lawn for a surprise birthday. When I opened up the front door, she peered outside and said, “Why are all those people here?” For months afterward she would moved over to the couch; open the photo album she was to weak to hold and we talked about the pictures: “That’s the mayor.” “These are our neighbors.” “That’s our mail carrier.” “That’s the lady who helped me.” “That’s Mary Jean, . . .Johnnie …Donnie…”

And on June 28th when she was passing in the home she loved, surrounded by friends and family, someone started to sing the words, “Swing low sweet chariot comin’ for to carry you home…” At one point the hospice worker looked at me and said, “Please note the time of passing at 5:23 p.m.”

During the past year, no matter how hard the care-giving got, she would always say, “I know what you are doing!” She did. She cared for her mother much as I did for her. Her last words to me were, “I have to stay alive, I have to take care of you.” Mine to her were, “It’s okay, I promise I will take care of myself.”

Almost immediately, I was on a plane that took me to Belize, farther away from home than any of my direct ancestors have been since our family came to America in the 1600s. It’s a wonderful country; and, as I sat on the edge of a pier over the warm Caribbean, I realized that I would not have been able to be there if I were still care-giving. I know Mother was glad I was able to be there.

Shortly after that, I was in Oklahoma with long-time friends; over my birthday and Thanksgiving I was in Palm Springs, the Mojave National Preserve and Las Vegas; and then this last week to Riverside, California at the wonderful Mission Inn for a church event. It has been a long time since I have been able to travel. I am grateful that I can.

I am not sure what these Christmas letters are supposed to say, but if I am to be honest, I would say that while there is sadness in her passing, these last three years have been the best of our lives.

As trustee of the estate I am closing it down. I have time to figure out where my journey will take me now…but if that journey is as exciting, meaningful and loving as the one I have been on, I have nothing to fear.

Blessings...

“Wherever you go, I will go, and wherever you stay, I will stay. Your people will be my people, and your God will be my God.” Ruth 1 16-17