A Letter to Equality California

Mr. Kors,

I may have been fighting this "battle" longer than you have been alive ... well, I really don't know your age, but...

Personally, I am one of folks who "knew the 'first' generation” of gay activists but am a member of the "second generation that got wipe out by AIDS" group. Those years ago, I moved "back home" to escape a confusing world, to avoid the "cancer" and to escape the pain of the early AIDS death of the man who these days would have been "my husband."

And so it has turned out that this gay man has lived out most of his life in a "str'8" world ... even if it was in a suburban of Los Angeles. There are many of us here. And I discovered that "out here" and just being "me" worked ... even without a lover or kids.

I worked in the religious world, went to church, tended my garden, took care of my parents, smiled at my neighbors, joined the local Rotary, set up neighborhood associations, did my share of volunteering and in a small ways tried to create a better world. It has been a world outside of political wonks and ghettos. Life is about walking around the neighborhood with friends and, at some point or other, coming out in small ways.

It is the idea of those "small ways" that make me think that you and "Equality California" have done the right thing in delaying the vote on marriage equality. And to be frank, I am not sure there are not enough of "me" around and just being good neighbors now.

One more thing ... many of the ground folks in last year’s campaign to defeat Prop 8 were clueless. I can get on a phone and talk to anyone ... that's what I have been doing for 30 years. But the guys you hired to run the campaign on the local level? They were clueless. I imagine they were all working they way up the political ladder and had no idea of why my next door neighbor cried when I told her about Jimmy; Jimmy, who these days "would have been my husband'" ... and for whom I will always say, "Better once than ever, for never too late ..."

So spend some time and get some folks around you who know what winning this "fight" is all about ... Please?