The First of Many “Comings” Out

I have not put these kinds of things here before ... my friend Bruce asked me to participate in The National Coming Out Day Service ... it was an emotional moment for me:

The First of Many “Comings” Out.
St. Wilfrids Church, Huntington Beach, CA
October 12, 2008
On Christmas day of 1962 the movie of Harper Lee’s novel, To Kill a Mockingbird was released. Atticus Finch is a lawyer in the Depression-era south who defends a black man against an un-deserved rape charge, and, his kids against prejudice. Some of you may remember the movie; fewer will hear the movie’s music theme. The following summer I made love to a man for the first time in my life; we listened to that music all night long.

The next day I did two things -- I bought that LP and drove to the top of a local mountain … I sat up there and cried and cried and asked God to take away "those" feelings. I never tired so hard to talk to God … God never say anything back to me … but last night when I played that music again, I figured that was the moment that I “came out” to God ... the first of many “comings out”.
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Five years later I drove down here to Huntington Beach to "tell" my brother. Working up the courage, I finally said it, “Richard I’m gay.” After an eternity he said with a smile, “You know, I always figured you got "it" in the end somewhere along the line!” “Richard,” I yelled, “That’s disgusting.” I grabbed a couch pillow, so did he, and two men had a pillow fight … We did not know about hugging them.
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A couple of years later I meet “Peaches” at the 8727, a coffee shop on Melrose for the under 21 crowd … We talked about gay liberation. Peaches’ idea was to have a tea party; with his grandmother’s porcelain china tea service - linen table cloth and all … So one Sunday morning 30 of us sat on the ground at a turn on most crusey road in Griffith Park had tea - tea as an expression of liberation…
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The Little Cave was a Sunset Blvd. neighborhood bar down the street from my house in Silver Lake. On its ... so I found myself with Harry Hay, John Burnside (founders of the Mattachine Society) and Morris Knight. And there I made what seems like such an arcane statement to three very non-religious people: “I heard this Negro preacher in a church in San Francisco and he said it was all about freedom.” … the preacher, Martin Luther King Jr.; the church, Grace Cathedral.
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“He is NOT here.” I said, sticking my head around my front door and staring at two FBI agents … “Well, can we come in? We think a draft dodger is here.” “NO, I am in my underwear” “Just let us in,” “NO, I am in my underwear, you can’t come in,” “We’ll come back later” “Okay, but not now, I am in my underwear.”
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“Frank, you don’t remember me … I’m one of the gay guys you helped with draft counseling and I didn’t have to go to Vietnam … you allowed me to realize that I really was, a conscientious objector …”
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There have been other moments … I was at Stonewall … And now, none of you can now run for president – you’ve listen to a member of the FBI's most subversive underground groups called “Radical Fairies” … code name: “Glenda May;” and, on the front steps of All Saints Church when I told Doug Vest that I had baptized + the love of my life as he lay on his death bed. “How does it feel,” Doug said, “to be a priest in God’s church?” ... or telling my str8 friend Randy about my own coming out and his realizing that he had his own as well.

I have come to know it was God’s hand that took me here. But when Bruce asked me to be here tonight, I had one realization: I am glad God never said anything to me when I cried on top of that mountain.
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But for all these years, particularly during my “preaching years,” a secret part of me wanted to do something I’ve never done until tonight … stand in the pulpit and say, “Hi, my name is Frank Clark and I’m gay.” The journey continues; the dream will never die … No on Prop 8!